I Turned 30, Now What?

I have been preparing to be a thirty year old woman since I was at least seven (likely earlier). I did not always know what I wanted my future to look like but I knew one thing for sure--I wanted to be "grown". I arrived at this conclusion from watching my mother and the women she surrounded herself with. They always made adulthood look fun, easy and alluring.

They dressed how they wanted and were always on trend, they ate at great restaurants, they went to popular events and made sure to find time for a quick trip. More often than not, I would hear that I could not tag along because I was a child and that would be inappropriate; however, on the occasions where they invited me along, I felt like one of them--young, humorous, capable.

That feeling followed me throughout my life. I wanted the freedom to explore the world at large. The day I turned eighteen, I thought my life would look exactly like theirs. The reality that disposable income was the ingredient that kept me from dining at upscale restaurants, buying designer bags and shoes, and traveling frequently nipped all notions of perceived "adulthood" in the bud.

As time went on, I built a life filled with leisure, indulgence and opulence. It felt great to scale up my lifestyle once I hit new milestones (graduating college, landing my first role, promotion cycles, my first apartment, etc.). Then this plateaued in about 2021. I felt like I had seen and done so much within the previous six years that it was getting to be a bit stale.

As my twenties drew to a close, I knew that I needed to turn my attention inward. Being "grown" had little to do with experiences and so much to do with self-discovery. I started realizing that I needed slower mornings, indulgence in ways that nourished my spirit. I started developing reflective rituals to increase my self awareness and aid me in my journey of rediscovery.

As a teenager, I loved video games, the color pink, volleyball and horses. As I aged, I lost a few of those interests. I have now rediscovered two of them and will be working on a third in the upcoming spring. I learned that leaning into the things that make us unique, multi-faceted beings is the main ingredient in the recipe for joy. I learned to color outside the lines again instead of taking myself and this thing called life so seriously.

This blog is a part of my self-discovery journey. I will bring you on my trips, give you my perspective on current events and hot topics, share with you my likes and dislikes, and provide you a space to interact with a freshly thirty something year old looking for community. Hope you enjoy the ride! :)