I Barely Survived That Full Moon, How About You?

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My thoughts on the Full Flower Moon in Scorpio, emotional recognition, and grounding yourself energetically

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If last week felt unbearable, I am here to let you know that you are not alone. On Friday, May 1^st, we kicked off the month with a full moon in Scorpio and while it was labeled the “Full Flower Moon”, it felt anything but delicate. For those unfamiliar with the underlying energy of Scorpio moons, they are known for highlighting the things we keep hidden—even from ourselves.  Judgments we thought were better left unsaid, secrets maintained to spare connections, all the words that die at the base of our throats decide that they would rather make themselves known. It is energy that forces us to face our fears, to collapse into the things that we have been avoiding and that can be incredibly unnerving, especially if you do not have the skills to harness such energy into something cathartic and rewarding.

As a person with a Scorpio stellium, which means that there are multiple planets within my natal chart that are housed in the astrological sign of Scorpio, the intensity of this full moon left me wrecked but not in a way that felt pleasurable or rejuvenating. My already intense emotions were heightened to the point of feeling raw, and I felt out of control of my emotional current in a debilitating way. As someone who is used to masking her intensity, it poured out of me in ways that I have not felt since my preteen years. Moody would be a delicate way to put it; the polarity of my usual Libra balance—responsible for the refined and charismatic energy that I love to cascade over others, the part of me that is justice oriented and obsessed with inclusivity, and the beauty centric negotiator that will make every day feel like living in a Vogue editorial—left me feeling like I was splitting at the seams and scattered.

To know me is to know that I love to be in control of myself (and sometimes others). However, I was forced to reevaluate my relationship with control as it relates to my own expression. Doors which had historically been marked ‘Do not enter’ within my mind flew open, composure an ancient relic. My usual disposition—contrite, stoic, and chock full of deadpan humor—missing and replaced by a sobbing (multiple times might I add), sensitive mess. My vulnerabilities came to the surface, my fears felt less imagined and greeted me at every turn, and I had the sudden realization that I was not in control of anything. An unfortunate situation made me feel powerless and that wasn’t even the worst of it—I felt needy in a way that was almost childlike. Let’s just say that by Friday evening, I couldn’t do much else but play Flamenco by Beyonce on repeat and find comfort in the warm embrace of sleep.

My uncanny disposition showed up even at the one place where I have always felt in control—work. For those that know the theater kid in me, work is the one place where I can still delve into the grandiosity of performance. The carefully curated persona that I have perfected over the span of a decade is one of my greatest works of art, and I could not even be bothered to let her shine this week. I was rough and raw in a way that I am sure mirrored a Jordan Peele plot (Us is a great movie and my god did I feel like a doppelgänger).  The only thing that grounded me throughout this experience was the fact that everyone around me seemed to be losing themselves as well. There was an almost confrontational energy that disturbed my need for peace and grace, but it was refreshing to know that it was not solely impacting me.

So, What is a Full Moon – and Why Does Scorpio Hit Different (Word to SZA)?

Before I give you a list of tips to ground yourself during the lunar event known as a full moon, we need to talk about what actually happens for the readers who are not astrology obsessed.

According to Brittanica, a full moon is one of eight lunar phases, in which the entire round illuminated face of the Moon is visible from Earth. From a scientific perspective, this lunar phase is the most striking due to the amount of light which gets reflected off the Moon toward Earth. Now we are going to switch gears just slightly and interpret this astrologically. The full moon serves as a peak, the time when the Sun and Moon sit at opposite signs of the zodiac. It is a time associated with high energy, intensified emotions, and vivid dreams. It can serve as a built-in reflective period. This means that things can come to a head—you may find yourself purging things, relationships, attitudes or beliefs that no longer serve you.

When the full moon lands in Scorpio, a sign associated with intensity, rebirth, the shadow and the dark current of the human mind, the energy of a full moon becomes anything but subtle. This energy feels bold, charged, and decisive in a way that many may not be ready for. Scorpio does not ask, it directs. Serving as a wrecking ball of emotional upheaval, there can be great manifestations of ruthlessness—in speech, in action, and other methods of communication and expression. When we put all of this together, it leads us to one conclusion—what we all experienced this week was not random, it was a culmination of things that had bubbled underneath the surface and finally received permission to be realized. This was a reckoning.

If you have significant Scorpio placements in your chart, you likely felt this at a magnified level. For me, it felt like my dual nature—I am water and air dominant—was fighting for dominance and undoubtedly, water won this round. The version of me that existed before this has been permanently altered, there is no way to shrink myself into a container that I have outgrown, aided by this lunar event. Shockingly, I do not want to. While I felt underprepared, facing the shadow self I have been able to ignore was the excavation I did not know I needed. After the internal war waged on, I found myself in need of restoration of course. This is where we get into what we can do after navigating a difficult astrological transit.

Grounding Techniques and How to Apply Them During a Full Moon

While this full moon was rougher than others due to simultaneous planetary shifts (an Aries stellium in Mercury, Mars, Saturn, and Neptune AND Uranus transitioning from Taurus to Gemini), they occur every 28 to 30 days so you should be incorporating grounding techniques into your practice so that your world is not being rocked in a way that feels unnecessarily disorienting.

• Feel the Feels, Babygirl: I think that so much of the human experience is the need to psychoanalyze ourselves and those around us. Intellectualizing and narrating your emotions is so commonplace that we oftentimes forget to simply experience them. Slow down, do your breathwork and let the feelings course through you. Only once you have felt everything that comes to the surface can you begin to contextualize. As someone who is not a crier, I allowed myself to cry freely this full moon. Those tears were full of all the things I had not allowed myself to experience presently—the fear, rage, sadness and disappointment. Instead of trying to interrogate the source of my tears, I simply let them flow.

  
  

• Introspection for the Win: Lunar events of any kind are about harnessing the appropriate energy. Full moons are associated naturally with themes of reflection and release. The energy of Scorpio resides in the psychological and emotional realm. Find a way to deepen your connection to your mind and body. Sometimes I need words to spill from my pen, other times I need my bare feet to touch blades of grass. There are also days where I need to sit quietly near an open body of water and listen to the sound of crashing waves. I let my mind and body guide me, releasing my desire for controlling the outcome. If my mind and body direct me to sit at the MoMa in front of the works of Claude Monet, that is what happens. You hold the answers for your own regulation, we are simply not trained to listen.

  
  

• Remove Noise, Clutter: This is connected to my previous point. So much of life is pushing through. A dear relative passed away the day before the full moon in August 2017. It completely undid me and since I had started a new job five days before, I did not feel comfortable taking the time that I needed. I forced myself into work the next day and could not find the words necessary to explain what I had experienced the day before. I disassociated for about a week after that and moved on autopilot. This was back when my relationship with control was even more tenuous. Looking back, my nervous system and overall mental health would have aided from deciding to not engage with others during a time where I was so obviously dysregulated. After that experience, I had to learn prioritization, for my sanity and well-being. I will now disengage whenever I feel overstimulated and I have a system in place to bring me back to baseline. Again, this is not a one size fits all, we are soothed by different things. Maybe you are someone that needs to sit in a dark, quiet room with a diffuser wafting the scent of lavender and eucalyptus. Maybe you need to eat a pint of ice cream and watch a feel-good movie. Maybe you need to clean your space and relax in a nice warm bath.

  
  

• Express Yourself (Carefully): Another organic segue. The people in our orbit cannot understand our needs if we do not communicate them. This orbit includes your support system (e.g., family, friends, partner/spouse, loved ones), your professional network (e.g., manager, teammates, business partners, direct reports), your medical care team (e.g., primary physician, therapist, psychiatrist) and those you entrust with your physical and spiritual wellness (e.g., personal trainer, nutritionist, yoga instructor, sports coach, meditation guide). Find appropriate ways to communicate critical information to each person within your orbit so that you can release any emotional heaviness that you are carrying. I have had to learn that while care is expressed differently depending on the environment that I find myself in (home, work, community), there are people everywhere championing for my success professionally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Lean into that feeling. I used to be (still am to a degree) afraid of my own vulnerability. I had to find different methods to explore that vulnerability (my writing, my art) before I felt safe enough to express it. Find a way to communicate your needs, wants, fears and motivations—the universe is designed to reward you for it.

  
  

We covered a lot of ground as it relates to full moons. Remember this is one of the main lunar events that occurs in a given month. If this is well received, I might explore the effects of a new moon at a later time.

For now, enjoy the gift that was the full moon in Scorpio. I hope that you were able to make good use of the energy and that the inevitable shift left you in a position of power. As we gear up for the upcoming week, operate from that intersection—where power and vulnerability meet—you would be amazed at what has been created during these pivotal transits.

Feel free to express what came up for you during this full moon.  I would love to know!